Towards the government of the Philippines I work with to serve Filipinos, I am always dissatisfied, felt angry, and slighted. I even want to consider migrating to other countries and have dual citizenship. My hatred towards the government grows everyday that I don’t want to work for them anymore. I only work because of money to support my married life and parents sending my siblings in College. However, I am not happy, I am a bitter worker, and I am not motivated always and struggling to give my best at work. I always ask myself to improve at work, be punctual, and serve the farmers amidst the SYSTEM I am working with. It is really a battle of evil and good inside my head. Although in my heart, I want to serve farmers without hassles, tight limitations, and complicated systems.
I read motivational books, articles, and blogs to uplift my spirit. I pray hard to God every now and then, pleaded Him to change my thinking. I prayed also to help me find happiness at work, lead me, guide me, control my negative thoughts. It’s been months, nothing change. I am always stressed at work and at home, leading back to negative feelings. I always try to become positive, keep going to work, and having myself indulge to pleasurable massage therapy to ease some stress.
Then one day, I thought suddenly to become thankful to government instead of demonizing it inside my head. I should read news constructively and not often since I became irritable afterwards.
There are the things I am thankful with how the Philippine government works from my birth up to the present:
- The government is made of people who are not perfect and are sinners like me, but God is perfect, powerful, and mighty. We really should thank God for all His kindness, forgiveness, guidance, and love. This event made us cling to God and invoke His presence and guidance when our expectations are not met, especially how our government works.
- The government permanently employed my mother-the bread-winner of our family. Her work as a local midwife in our area sustained us. She was able to send us to school from kinder to college. I am happy she was with us during night-time, preparing breakfast, washing our clothes when we are little. I grew up with values, respect to others, with a little bit of hang ups but controllable (well everyone does have family baggage anyway-life is not perfect but it will pass through).
- I went to government-funded public schools. I loved my teachers and classmates there although not all were lovable, I was thought to respect them anyway. I have many fond memories (dramatic, romantic, comedy, horror, and pg-rated but it all passed through).
- I am employed by the government. When I am a fresh graduate, the salary offered by the government was higher than in the local private sector. That was why I grab it immediately, until now I am afraid to start with the private sector in fear of much lower salary.
- Under the government, I learned a lot. I learned to become patient, sensitive, tolerate, sacrifice, and skills. My bosses send me to trainings and seminars to hone my skills, build confidence, and network to other people.
I am now 27 years old, curious to learn more, waiting for the right timing, opportunity, and blessing from God.
I believe I can do meaningful things, great and small in Jesus Christ’s Name. I have to stay positive, grateful to God, live simply, smile often, and be healthy. Someday all my dreams and plans will be fulfilled by God. I believe in His power and love.
Today is Sunday! What a great day to put my personal reflection in my blog.